Naruto's Perverse Ways
by tetsaga tetsiaga
Summary: what if Naruto left the village of Konoha and was picked up by ….jiraya wtf and grows up to be a bigger perv than jiraya and what else when Naruto does kage bushin and accidently summons …read the story to find out p.s. jiraya isn’t the writer of icha-ich
1. As the Smoke Clears

Naruto perverse ways

_**Naruto perverse ways **_

_**Summary**_: what if Naruto left the village of Konoha and was picked up by ….jiraya wtf and grows up to be a bigger perv than jiraya and what else when Naruto does kage bushin and accidently summons …read the story to find out p.s. jiraya isn't the writer of icha icha paradise and I will leave it at that.

Disclaimer I don't own inuyasha, bleach, Naruto, gundom wing, and un in habited planet survive.

Chapter one: as the smoke cleared

Ahhhhh cough cough you fucking gaki what the hell did you do. cough cough I didn't do any thing just as they were about to brawl a young woman around the age of (Naruto who is only 6 at the time) started yelling at the old man saying if you touch one hair on his head you wont have the ability to have children ever again the man cringed and backed of ok were did you come from I am the kyubi no kitsune who is trapped in Naruto at the moment kyubi said Naruto wasn't shock because the old man told him about kyubi then why are you here you should be sealed I am but I used the kage bushin he made for a body and put some of my chakra into it and bam here I ammmmmmmmmmm as she was cut of by Naruto kissing her on the lips and bending her back ward as she let out a moan when Naruto herd this he smiled in the kiss and licked at the bottom of her lip asking for entery and got it once in side he explored every nook and cranny making her moan even more while this was happening jiraya was takeing notes for Naruto's book icha icha paradises' volume 2 of the new series once they broke the kiss kyubi started to walk kind of drunk like while Naruto just stood there wondering why he did that when kyubi regained her senses she ask why did you do that I don't know he said scratched the back of his head and said I don't know and the other two just sweat dropped and while Naruto was thinking of why he did it kyubi was thinking oh my god he is like a drug one taste is all it takes to get hooked kyubi thought thinking she wanted another and that she would get another tonight licking her lips seductively which Naruto caught and instantly went hard

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That's the end of my first chapter and for review purposes I am a dude thank you I would like at least one review thank you


	2. You Can Never

Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Naruto, bleach, inuyasha, Gundom wing, and unihabitated planet survive

Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Naruto, bleach, inuyasha, Gundom wing, and unihabitated planet survive. (waaaaaaaaaaaaa crying)

Chapter two

That night Kyuubi waited to get Naruto alone. Which just so happened to be in the natural hot springs near where they were camping.

Ounce he was undressed and in the springs, she undressed and snuck in beside him and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Ounce he was over his shock she started kissing him. This lasted for a couple minutes, it got more serious when naruto started to kiss down Kyuubi's neck and started towards her breasts.

First he gave them a squeeze, and then he started to lick and suck them giving each equal attention.

But this didn't last for long because Kyuubi got inpatient and positioned her self over his dick and started to pump slow at first, but then it got faster and faster until she started moaning "uhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn I'm I'm Cumming" and so did Naruto this happened multiple times though the night, until morning hit and they were still having sex that's when they decide to stop that entire time a certain old man was watching and giggling and rambling along about how his little naruto hade grown up and how proud he was of naruto.

Time skip 6 years

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7:30 Am: I" can't believe you convinced me to go back here old man" said Naruto with Kyuubi in his arms.

He called her Vixen, "Naruto, settle down I asked you here so you could take the genin exams to become a genin same with vixen so don't yell at me ok I gave you a choice" he said in "I beat you voice".

"All right when are they anyways"

"Today at 8:00 am sharp and don't be late"

"whatever old man" as he disappeared in a cloud of smoke "dame old man gave us thirty minutes to do nothing" he said "not exactly, we could always have a little session" Naruto smiled "ok but you asked for it"

30 minutes later in the classroom a man with a scare on his nose known at the academy as Iruka-sensei was saying to his class

"Today we have a two new students Vixen and Naruto would you come in"

When there was no reply iruka went to the door and what he saw gave him a nose bleed,

There was Naruto and Vixen making out with Vixen's leg resting on Naruto's hip as they paid no mine to him until he tried to brake them up

That's when every thing went wrong! Naruto threw a chakra punch at Iruka which surprised him so much he didn't block it

So he went flying Naruto then picked him up and proceeded to beat him senseless until he herd Vixen say in to his ear stop it or no sex for a month

Naruto then dropped Iruka and mumbled about how it was his fault and why he should be punished every one in the classroom dropped there jaws at that last comment

"What!" a guy with a dog on his head said

"What yeah, right like you've had sex" Naruto just said "That doesn't stop me I lost my virginity at the age of six" coming from behind the boy and asked "what's your name kid" "Kiba and I'm not a kid I am the same age as you maybe even older" Kiba said

This made naruto angry "you maybe older but to me you are less mature in every way sexually and mentally so you just shut that big ass mouth of yours gaki" Naruto said releasing some killing intent (this will now be know as KI ok) as soon as this happened Vixen stepped in front of naruto and kissed him on the lips and whispered in his ear so only he could here "knotty boys don't get good thing"

at this Naruto dropped the KI "you were lucky this time" as he goes to take a seat Iruka wakes from his unconsesness

"well class let's let Naruto here talk about him self then we can start the written exam, ok Naruto you have the stage"

"hhhmmm I like Vixen, ramen, learning new jutsu, training, and writing in my book, perhaps you know it, icha-icha"

All the girls screamed "sign my book", Vixen whispered " I think you have a new fan club"

Naruto just sweatdrops "my dislikes are when vixen threatens sex, stuck up bastards, and I don't want to tell you my dreams" "ok let's start the exam"

After the written exams they hade a lunch brake at which we find our couple on the roof making out

Until saskue came up and threw a kunai at him

but before it hit the half way mark it was chopped in half

Naruto stood there with a black scythe with red engraving that spelled shinigami scythe it was about 12 foot long and had a serrated knuckle piece that was about three feet long the grip was as long as the knuckle guard it had two scythe blades one in front and one in back each one was about 5 feet long and it was huge all to gether if you try to kill my fiancé one more time I mill kill you. What do you mean fiancé she just some whore you probably pick of the street to say naruto was beyond pissed was a under statement he was furies the never he was going to kill saskue naruto started to pump out killing intent it was so much it rivaled kyubi's saskue out of fear piss him naruto said pathetic and was gone in a flash and behind saskue and kick him so hard that it broke his back in several places in a sickening snap once saskue was on the ground naruto kick him so he was facing up and did what no man should go though castration with no anesthetics saskue screamed in pain ahhhhh only to wake up in a hospitable drenched in cold sweat, a nurse came in and said I am so sorry but you can never……

Cliffhanger no jutsu I love torturing you guy's. Send me reviews!!


	3. Kyuubi's Surprise

Chapter 3 teams

Chapter 3 teams and Kyuubi's surprise

Dear bloodmank every ones a pervert you just have to unlock it.

A loud scream of "NO" was heard through out the village, it came from a very stunned boy. _"This can't be happening!" "No this is impossible I have to kill Itachi!" "If I can't be a ninja then how am I supposed to do that!?" _thought Saskue "Uchiha-sama you have suffered sever trauma and pressure on your back, as a result it broke your spine. You are at the moment paralyzed from the waste down. we were barley able to stabilize you, we were able to save your manly parts, as a result you will still be able to father children, but you will be unable to become a ninja, But over time you might be able to use your legs somewhat." Saskue was stunned he would never be a ninja all because of the new kid.

At that time a certain blonde sneezed _"ahh come on that's the third time this hour"_ Naruto was starting to get mad _"stop talking about me god I hate this"_ he thought as he laid in his bed with Vixen in his arms already asleep Naruto decided to go to bed early and Vixen did to. The next morning Naruto awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs. He went to the kitchen only to find Vixen in a bath robe that was very revealing, it hugged her body tightly. He looked around to find eggs and bacon on the table with her looking at him with a smile "good morning" she said with a loving voice "eat up or were going to be late for are team placements foxy." "Oh that's today I thought to day was a free day for us" he said kissing down her neck slowly she moaned out "Naruto not right now." "Oh fine later then." Vixen gave out a slight giggle "you are so insatiable its not even funny" she said as she turned around and whispered into his ear "Naruto kun guess what" Naruto was starting to get worried she never used kun unless she was serious "I'm pregnant" Naruto's eyes grew wider then ever "your shitting me" "no I'm 2 months pregnant" Naruto started to jump up and down screaming "I'm going to be a dad wooohoooo" 10 minutes later in the academy Naruto had a grin on his face the size of his scythe with Vixen by his side smiling every one in class was wondering about the couple it was odd, the one day that Saskue is gone is the same day that the couple is so happy. Kiba walks up to them "dude why are you happy?" "dude I'll tell you at lunch after the teams are announced" "ok got it." 5 minutes later "team 7 Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba, and what I'm sorry I think there's a problem Uzumaki Vixen" Iruka asked. "No there's no problem she's my wife." Iruka looked dumfounded "when did you get married" "3 years ago what none of you looked at her last name" the word "no" started to pass threw the crowds when a pink haired girl named sakura said "then you got married when you were 10?" "yes what's wrong with that" every one sweat drop and screamed "every thing" "what ever" Naruto said creating even more sweat drops "ok now that, that is done with" "team 8 …."

10 minutes later the lunch bell rang Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Sakura, and Hinata all gathered around Naruto and Vixen "so you guys never said you were married why didn't you tell us, and more importantly why are you so happy to day" Kiba said "it's not like Vixens pregnant or any thing" Naruto sweat dropped "I'll let you tell vixen." Vixen sighed "ok first off Naruto and I decided to not tell you because this would happen, and were happy because Kiba you are right I'm pregnant." "WHAT!!" Every one yelled Naruto and Vixen put there hand over there ears "god you guy are so loud" Naruto said "you got her pregnant, Naruto you pervert" Sakura said and proceeded to try and beat him to a pulp but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder sakura looked around to find Vixens hand on her shoulder "its ok we wanted it and I'm very happy".

After lunch there teachers picked them up this ended with a pissed naruto as his sensei walked 2 hours late with a smile on his face and naruto trying to hold back his anger "why are you so late sensei" Naruto asked grinding teeth the jonin simply said "I got lost on the road of life" Naruto couldn't keep it in any more as he beat kakashi senseless until he passed out from the pain half an hour later Naruto had calmed down and now was sitting by his sensei. As kakashi awoke he realized what happened he had been beaten to a pulp by a genin so he decided to skip the bell test and just said three words "mission, 8:00, tomorrow"

The next day was peaceful until naruto got angry the Hokage was purposely giving him d rank missions when he knows that he can do at least a s rank mission. "Give us a c-rank mission old man come on I request a higher rank mission" "alright naruto you will get a c-rank mission you will be the body guard to the land of wave and protect him until his bridge is finished" "yes" naruto shouted "finally a real mission" "naruto calm down." "Tazuna come in" the hokage said as he said that a man came in about 5'9, in his fifties, and dead drunk "these little twerps are supposed to protect me" Naruto got mad all over again (by the way naruto in this one is not short he is at least 6' 3) "who are you calling a twerp you drunk" Tazuna got angry this time but kept it to him self remembering they were ninja and not weak "when are we leaving sensei" Naruto asked seeing as how tazuna backed down in "2 hours ok" 2 hours later "ok lets go guys" kakashi said as they left to wave


	4. Best Man

Chapter 4 best man

Chapter 4 best man.

Deep thought for today being in the army is like peeing pants everyone sees the outside effect but only you get the warm fuzzy feeling in side.

I have found out how anko can pull out a knife out of now were when she was naked moments ago they simply have hidden compartments in the hot springs.

As team 7 walk down the road to wave they all notice that there was a puddle when it hadn't rained for weeks and they found out through kiba's nose that there were two of them and both chunin level so they decided to jump them on three. one, two, three now naruto said as he pull out a huge sword the size of samehanda with serrated edges and red engraving that said fluffy destroyer of worlds and the kanji for celestial and beast and went in to his battle stance vixen did sort of the same thing but she pulled out two short swords but each had its own little uniqueness such as the first had flames on it and the other electricity kiba went in to a battle stance with akemaru on his back while kakashi grabbed out his book and jumped in to a near by tree to watch the battle unfold. First naruto brought down his sword with amazing speed a cut the first man in half then vixen threw her swords in two the second mans shoulders effective pining him two a tree she then took out a kunai and went over two the second man and ask what do you want and who do you work for she said bringing her kunai to his manhood and stabbed right next to his balls in the thigh the man went wide eyed and said we were sent here by a man named goto to kill a man named tazuna that's all I now that and that he is pay a lot of money he shot out so fast it made kakashi's head spin. Good vixen said as she stabbed the man in the head killing him quickly you are so sadistic yet I love you naruto said vixen smiled and put the two body in a scroll and put them away naruto went over and kissed her on the lips ok time for you to tell us what is going on kakashi said tazuna sighed after the explanation they decided to go on that afternoon was fairly Pease full until a fog rolled over and every one except naruto and vixen went on the alert in fact naruto actually smile witch confused kakashi a great deal but when he head a sword swishing in the air he stopped and took down tazuna and kiba while naruto just simple caught it with his bare hand still smiling zabuza good to see you alive and well naruto long time no sea zabuza said coming to huge naruto and so did naruto after a while of chatting naruto found out that goto had taken haku his girl friend hostage when finally kakashi speaks up how do you know each other zabuza then sais oh come on naruto you never tell any of your friends about me zabuza asked well think about it zabuza how many people would understand that you are my friend and besides that who would believe me naruto said I guess your right but zabuza was interrupted by kakashi saying you still have not answered my question how does a s class missing nin befriend a genin naruto just said I don't know kakashi sweatdrops ok then how do you know each other well naruto said he was my best man at my wedding kakashi then yelled what your married. Oh ya forgot to mention that naruto said kakashi then said in a sarcastic tone and I suppose vixens your wife. Yup naruto said just making kakashi go slack jaw and what no bun in the oven hahahahah zabuza said. Actually zabuza naruto said zabuza stopped laughing and said you didn't you couldn't actually I did zabuza went slack jaw to and said you lucky bastard kakashi interrupted and said so I guess you are the writer of icha-icha he said sarcastic. Well. no way you are not you aren't even 15 kakashi said as he scammed to the author secthon and found main author naruto uzumaki kakashi then said god before fainting

The next morning kakashi woke up to naruto punching him till he said stop what the hell naruto kakashi said oh just seeing If were alive we just killed goto and his men how oh lets keep that a secret shall we kakashi sighed ok lets go home on the way home vixen little frisky one moment then mad at him the next until he pulled her to a near by tree and said what is wrong. Vixen simply said I'm pregnant what do you expect I'm a demon we give berth in a short amount of time. Just how shout naruto asked alarmed. 4 months why vixen asked its bin a month sins you told me you were pregnant. So. So this means you will give birth in a month yay so what. Naruto just nodes and said nothing lets get back to the others 1 weak later finally back god it's been a long time hasn't it been a long time naruto asked vixen it sure has she said see you guys kakashi said as he went to the hokage tower and said he would do the report. As naruto and vixen were walking down the street when vixen says I wont some ramen naruto said ok I thought you didn't like ramen when he that vixen did a pout and said well now I do I have been having these craving for it lately that's when naruto remembered the pregnancy book for guys he read women when pregnant crave certain foods ok what ever naruto said as he led her to the ichiraku ramen stand. 1 weak later AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH NARUTO YOU ARE DEID TO ME AHHHH FUCKING IDIOT WHY DID YOU GET ME PREGNANT YOU FUCKING BASTARD AHHHHHH (doctor in the background breath in breath out ) I'M GOOING TO FUCKING CUT YOUR BALLS OFF YOU DIPP SHIT AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

2 HOURS LATER

Finally it's over how cans some thing so small be such a pane vixen said naruto nursing his wounded body so far she broke a rib three knuckles and a few fingers witch she healed but it still hurt said hay it did naruto said sincerely not wanting to get more broken anything well when do we take him home naruto asked the doctor well you could take them home now great said naruto lets go home naruto said as he looked over to his wife who was asleep so he made a shadow clone and cared his wife and chilled home with him.


End file.
